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How to Stop Being An 'Advertising Victim'

                Contributed by Reed Hoisington

I was laying on my back, stripped to the waist, the rollers moving slowly up and down my back, relaxing, when I heard through the wall - the `high school book cover` sales rep pitching my doctor.

'You'll be the only doctor on these book covers...'

(Right between the pizza coupon and ad for the record store, featuring the photo of that happy singing group, The Eerily Dead and Grubby Cannibals.)

'Every kid'll get three of these free, to put on his books...'

(And draw and doodle and write obscene jokes on.)

'When he carries his books home, his parents will see the 'Say No to Drugs' logo on the front, be pleased, and want to patronize the advertising sponsors.'

(And then, the Twin Peaks midget is going to materialize in your office and give you the winning lottery numbers of the week.)

'And it's only $450.00.'

Half-naked, I slammed the office door open and said, 'Don't give this guy any money!'

This story is only slightly embellished. Anyway, here's the point. Points. First of all, stop making your advertising investments based on who wanders in with a
nifty story. Second, at least learn the basics of institutional vs. direct response advertising, so you can tell what a given media is capable of. Third, choose
direct response media and direct response advertising almost all the time.

When Goodyear flies the blimp over the game, they have no illusions about 50,000 people (or 5) getting up at halftime and rushing out to buy snow tires. Goodyear only hopes that, over time, sports fans will get a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling about Goodyear, remember the Goodyear name, and when they do need tires, choose Goodyear. I'd call that a long and winding way to get from A to Z.  Mad-Ave calls it 'institutional' (image) advertising. I guess Goodyear can afford it.

Can you?

Direct response would be if Goodyear gave everybody at the stadium a miniature blimp on a stick, decked out in the home team`s colors, to wave during the game... with a coupon printed on the back for discounts on snow tires... and announced over the 'PA' that all coupons redeemed before the next game earned a free gift of a VHS tape of the team`s greatest moments from previous games. THAT could sell some snow tires.

I have a friend and colleague, who says: `There are no victims - only volunteers.` Mortgage Professionals who refuse to get smart about advertising and marketing are voluntary victims. You get little sympathy from me.

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